Managing the mental load as a Working Mama.

MENTAL HEALTH | PUBLISHED: 05 JUNE 2024 | 3 MINUTE READ

Written By: Cindy Christian

UCLA Health UCLA Health defined mental load as: 

"The behind-the-scenes, cognitive and emotional work needed to manage a household. Examples are meal planning, scheduling, and generally meeting the needs of every family member. The mental tasks you do at work can also add to your total load".

Mothers are known to be the heartbeat of the family - The one who thinks about everything and keeps things functioning no matter what.

The mental load on working mamas can intensify in an instant. For example, when your kid suddenly gets sick at school, and the demand at work becomes unbearable.All while you are trying to be present for everyone.

Working mamas often wear numerous hats and are seen as skilled at juggling them. But what happens when the mental load becomes unbearable?

It can manifest as:

1. Being physically present yet disconnected from your loved ones.

2. Overthinking (everything) and becoming frustrated with the little things.

3. Mental burnout (feeling emotionally depleted).

To manage your mental load requires self-awareness and being attuned to what you need. Before tackling the to-do list that adds to your load, ask yourself: 

What should be prioritised today? – This will allow you to focus on what is MOST important.

Here are some tips for managing your mental load as a working mama:

1. Learn to ask for help – you do not have to manage the load alone.

2. Manage your expectations (of yourself) – it's natural for working mamas to think they need to finish everything before going to bed.

3. Create moments to step away from your mental load – I know this can be tricky (almost impossible at times), but it is crucial for self-care and filling your cup.

4. Seek connection rather than perfection – Deeply connected moments are the foundation of your family.

Yes, you are a working mama, but you are only human. Give yourself grace. 

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I am Cindy Christian, a mom to a beautiful 3-year-old girl, wife, mental health professional (HPCSA: Registered Counsellor and Research Psychologist), and PhD candidate. I've spent the last decade working in public and private higher education in South Africa and private counselling practice. I am passionate about community mental health, psychology education, research, and counselling. I enjoy accompanying people on their journeys through difficult obstacles to regain mental wellness. As a mom, wife, and working professional, I constantly strive to find balance in everything I do (which is no easy task!). Being mindful and making conscious decisions to review habits that serve me and those that don't help me achieve my goals. I am proud to be a working mama!